Its Complicated


"Hey bud, whats up?" he asked me, with that amazing smile of his. GOD what I would give for him to even have a clue as to how I felt. " Heya, not much, whats goin' on?" I asked. " Oh nothing..hey look, I've got something I need to tell you, but honestly, I'm really afraid of what you might think and I dont know..Its just.. forget it. Wanna go to the mall later?" "No, I want to hear what you were just about to tell me, Tell me Avery." "But-" "Tell me." "Fine.. but only 'cause you're my best friend. Promise you won't hate me?" "Like you said, I'm your best friend. I CANT hate you." "Okay.. thing is, Ry, I um.. I think I have feelings for you."

"WHAT? Did he just say what I HOPE he said? My God, this is unbelievable!"I thought to myself while he was looking at me, somewhat with a bit of concern in his eyes. I can always tell when he's upset..

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything.. Look, Ry, I'm so-"

Before he could finish, I decided it was now or never, and kissed him.

"I think I have feelings for you too."


"Get up." Rasped my mother.

Fuck. It was just another dream. Ugh.. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING? Its so wrong on so many different levels!He's my best friend.. I shouldn't feel this way. I'm totally into girls and all, but there's something about him that's different.I'm so confused. So, you're probably wondering a bit about me. Welp, I'm Ryan, but Avery insists on calling me "Ry". Who knows, right? Anyways. I'm about 5' 10", a little over 135 pounds. I managed to somehow get green eyes and dark brown hair. Wide receiver on the football team, captian of the swim team.I've been told I've got an awesome looking body. I'm 17 and a Junior in high school, as is Ave. Avery's 6'1" somewhere around 150 I think. He's got blue eyes and sandy blonde hair.He's gorgeous in every way possible.

So. We met way back in 2nd Grade when our teacher made up pair up with someone who's last name was close to ours.We're only one letter apart so we got paired up. After we found out we both liked football and teeball we hit it off. Attatched at hip.

I admit it. I like this boy. Alot. Thing is, he's dating my best friend, Claire. I'm extremely jealous of her, and she knows it.What I would give...Claire's the only person who knows I like the quaterback and pitcher of the baseball team, who happens to be my best friend. I always go to her when I have things I need to get out and I know she's never going to judge me and she'll always help me. I told her about my dreams and she said, "Go for it. Kiss him. You two are cute together, I see the way you guys flirt."I was SHOCKED beyond belief. Here's my best friend, telling me to kiss her boyfriend. "I--I want to, but I know he'll never go through with it." "I'll talk to him." "I'm not sure." "Shut up, I want you to be happy, I'm willing to share." She said with a smirk.

Now Claire's not that bad herself. 5' 3". Blonde hair, blue eyes, kick ass smile. Nice ass. Great boobs. Captain of the Cheerleading Squad. She's beautiful. I would be all over that if I didn't have an intense thing for Avery. When she said she was willing to share, I know what she meant. Ave and I both fucked her one night. That's the night I lost my virginity. With two of the people I loved most.It kept all the control I had in me to not lay a hand on Avery's demanding body. I wanted to so bad. I wanted to see what it was like To kiss him. Touch him in the most passionate of ways. I wanted to grab that taunting ass of his and just be with him. I wanted him to hold me.I want him to care for me. I want him to love me. I want with him.For once in my life, I want to be happy. And that's with him

Back to the story. I called Avery and we talked like we usually do. Hours on end. Its great. I think we were meant to be brothers but God knew our parents would never be able to handle the both of us. Our parents aggreed.

"Heyy I was just about to call ya" He said. I could tell he had a smile on his face. "Hey. Really? That's pretty weird. 'Sup?" "Ehh not much.. just got done talkin with Claire."Oh god.. my heart was racing. Did she tell him? "Oh? About what.." "Tell ya when you get here. My house." "I'm on my way, see ya." "Alrighty se-" I love hanging up on him 'cause i know he'll have this look on his face when i get to his house. Its cute.

Couple minutes later I found myself driving down the familiar road to his house. I got to the door and he was standing there in our football shorts, and a beater. He's got great calfs. As I walked up he had that look on his face and he was so amazing. "I hate when you hang up on me." He said with that killer smile. "Really? I love it." "Get in here dumbass." It was raining.As I walked into my second home I could feel his stare burning along my back. Was he checking me out? "Soo.. you know when you gave me the notes I missed so I could copy?" "Yeahh? And..? "You gave me the wrong one and I found something rather interesting in here."Oh FUCK. I gave him the notebook where I write how I feel about him. "Do you..mean all this?" "No." I lied. "Ry, I've known you since forever. I think I know when you're lying." "Its complicated, I'm sor-" He kissed me before I could finish. Was this really happening? Was he actually kissing me? He stopped kissing me and said "What's wrong.. I thought this is what you wanted to happen." "It is," I smiled. "I just didn't think it would ever happen."We both smiled and then I kissed him.

I was around 11 when I decided I would sleep over his house, his parents were outta town and they wouldn't mind anyways. I called my folks and let them know. He lent me a pair of his shorts and a beater and we stayed up most of the night watching Movies and playing PS2. When the time came, we went to bed. As usual, we shared his bed but this time, he held me and I was laying up agaisnt his chest.It was the best thing I could have ever asked for. Better than the dreams. I kissed him goodnight and smiled as I fell asleep.I felt good about myself. Happy. Loved. Safe.

Watch for part 2.